Slaying the shirtbeast (or, manly guide to ironing …)

The best thing about this year, is that I have so far avoided ironing a single shirt for work.

Nevertheless, sometimes a man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do … and then theres times like this, where a man’s gotta do, what his woman should be doing …

(runs and ducks …)

Anyway … back to the story.

When confronted with such a major dilemma, I did what I always do to find my way … I asked for help, from the big G in the sky … google, that is …

I discovered a remarkable amount of information!

Like this discussion list, which reckons the secret is turning your shirt inside out. Also on this list is a guy who reckons the true secret for ironing a shirt, is spreading plenty of saliva on it … apparently he once sneezed on his shirt as he ironed it, and now insists that it gave him the extra crispness … awesome.

Yeah – so, next I found this awesome little video lesson, on how to iron a shirt … unfortunately, it’s kinda slow …. so I got to the bit where they ironed the collar, then thought “just whatever aye – I can work out this beast on my own!!!”

So.

After ironing my many shirts (3), I feel it is necessary to hereby publish my memoirs, to pass on the secret knowledge that I have attained.

The stupendous 7 steps to success are as follows:

1 – Get your scrunched up old shirt.
2 – Iron the collar bit, first spread out, then folded as it is when you wear it.
3 – Iron all around that seam bit that goes down your shoulder, from the collar.
4 – Iron the front half of your shirt (where the pocket is), and then slowly rotate the shirt around the ironing board, ironing as it goes.
5 – Once you’ve ironed the whole way around, whip out one of the arms, and iron it; first the back, then the front. Repeat, for the other awesome sleeve.
6 – Iron the cuff bit, by ironing the inside, as you rotate.
7 – Hang that beast up on a hanger, and biff it on a coatrack.

Now, go get a beer, and marvel at what you have acheived.

And that, my friends, is the secret to slaying the shirtbeast.